failguardian | Appointment Post

[Anise jumps a bit when she hears the voice. She keeps her back turned against Nephry and pretends to busy herself with studying the books on that shelf.]

Hi, Nephry! I wasn't expecting to see you here!

[She tries to sound cheerful, but her heart isn't in it.]

I'm sorry if I startled you. [She saw that jump, and everything] I'll stay out of your way.

[And she will head for a different, but nearby, shelf]

No! [She flinches at how loud her voice sounded, feeling worse than ever. What did Nephry mean by that? Did Ion tell her what had happened and made Nephry upset at her too? Anise fidgets uncomfortably, darting nervous sideways glances at Nephry every so often, then averting her eyes just as quickly.]

[Goodness, Anise, this is a library. Nephry glances up at the half-shout, smiling but also looking worried.]

What's wrong?

Nothing! [Wait. Nephry's...smiling? She blurts out before she could stop herself:] You aren't mad at me?

[Nephry looks completely shocked]

Of course not, Anise. Why would I be?

Huh? I thought...[She's looking right at you now. Her eyes are still red from crying earlier.] Didn't Ion tell you?

He told me that the two of you had a conversation. [Oh, look at that face. Nephry comes closer and looks at her.]

What in the world would that have to do with whether or not I'm angry?

[Looking down again.] I'm fine! I'm fine, really! [Which doesn't make sense at all given the conversation right now, but Anise isn't exactly thinking straight.]

It's just...I thought you'd be mad. [She struggles to express herself.] I hurt him so badly...

Anise, come sit down.

[being led by the shoulder over to a table and some chairs, where they can both sit and be a little more out of the way.]

[She doesn't object at all, following dully after Nephry and slouching down onto the chair she's directed to.]

[Nephry makes sure to take a seat nearby then.]

Will you tell me what happened?

[Tell Nephry...? They weren't that close, but Anise wants to talk with someone and she seems willing to listen. Nephry wasn't cruel and mocking like the older girls in the Fon Master Guard, and she's an adult, so she had to have some experience with things like this, right...? Anise decides to just go ahead with it.]

We just talked. He...[It's still hard to believe it, even now.] Ion told me he [her voice dies away to a quiet mumble] loves me.

[Anise never did get to hear the story of Nephry and Peony, in full, the way she intended to share it.]

That seems to have upset you.

[Don't worry, she has no idea you're Peony's first love yet.]

I just...I don't know how I feel about him! [She's sounding desperate now.] Why can't I just love him too?

[Does she know it's still true?]

It's hard, isn't it? [And these two are only thirteen and appears-to-be-fifteen. It's not like they have a lot of basis for understanding.] There's nothing wrong with not knowing quite how you feel in return, though.

[Nope...Or she'll be asking you for tips on how to attract an Emperor.]

Really? [She blinks, surprised.] But I hurt him so badly!

Because you don't feel the same way?

[This is so...both of them are actually thinking along the same lines and beating themselves up over it.]

Would you rather have lied, just to make him happy?

I...[She groans quietly and flops down onto the table, burying her face in her arms.] I don't know...But it would make him happier, wouldn't it? And it's not like I dislike him, so...

[And Nephry puts a hand on her shoulder]

How do you think Ion would feel, then, if he found out you were...faking your feelings for him, just so he wouldn't feel bad about it?

[She flinches at the unexpected touch, then relaxes, slumping. When she speaks, her voice is barely more than a whisper.] He would be even more hurt than he is right now, won't he?

I don't think he would want you to be dishonest with yourself just to make him happy. ...But I can't speak for him, of course.

No...you're probably right. [With some effort, she pushes herself up.] But what do I do now? He won't even speak to me through the journals!

If he did, what would you say to him?

I...[She stops, realizing she had no idea how to respond.] I'll tell him I'm sorry. And I really miss him...

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